This is the Best Marriage Advice I Can Give After 15 Years Together

Looking for the secret to a happy marriage? It’s not about grand gestures! Discover the best marriage advice, like treating your spouse with kindness and nurturing your own individuality, to build a strong and loving partnership over time.

Every time my heart skipped a beat with my husband, I knew I was learning something new about our bond. Our shared journey through the ups and downs has taught us invaluable lessons about nurturing our marriage. I’ve gathered the essence of these experiences to offer married couples heartfelt relationship advice. Remember, it’s about becoming the best version of yourselves and relishing each other’s company, even when life throws curveballs your way. And as my parents once told me, “Don’t go to bed angry,” a piece of wisdom that’s more precious than gold.

As a work-from-home mom who has been married since 2009, I’ve discovered that the best marriage advice often comes from the heart of one who has a wealth of experiences with a  partner they love and trust, through all the challenges and changes in our lives. It’s about the little moments, the shared laughter, the quiet support, and the willingness to teach and learn. I want to inspire couples to find joy, respect, and growth in their journey together. It’s not just about weathering the storms but dancing in the rain, hand in hand, with love as your guide.

Laying the Foundation for a Strong Partnership

A strong foundation is crucial for any lasting structure, and marriage is no different. As husband and wife, we’ve learned to build our relationship on trust, communication, and deep-seated respect for one another. I will briefly discuss how these work.

Respect is the Bedrock of Connection

Respect is the cornerstone of any thriving marriage. I see it as honoring my husband’s opinions, supporting his ambitions, and valuing his feelings as much as my own. Respect is about listening to understand, not just responding, and that is the anchor that keeps our connection strong through life’s shifting tides.

I’ve seen how respect creates a safe space for vulnerability, where we can share our deepest fears and highest hopes without judgment. It’s in these moments that our bond deepens, and we truly become partners in every sense of the word.

However, it’s about respecting each other and our marriage. We honor our commitment by making our relationship a priority, and in turn, it becomes a source of strength and stability in both our lives.

Embracing Changes and Growing Together

When my husband and I got married, I’d lived in 2 places my entire life. He, on the other hand,  had traveled the world growing up in a military family and had been in the military himself. I had often dreamed of moving out of state, while he was looking to be established for the first time in his life. Our different ideas could have divided us, but they enriched our relationship. How did we do it? We learned to embrace change, adapt our ideals, and grow together in understanding and love.

Growth is an ongoing process, and marriage is no exception. As we evolved over the years, so did our relationship. We’ve faced job changes, parenthood, and personal milestones, each bringing its own set of challenges and opportunities for growth.

It’s about staying flexible and open-minded, ready to grow individually and as a couple. Marriage, after all, is a garden that needs constant tending, with patience and care, to flourish beautifully over time.

Adapting to Life’s Surprises as a Couple

I’ve learned that life will inevitably bring its share of ups and downs. For married couples like us, adapting to these surprises together makes our bond resilient. We’ve tackled unexpected job losses, joyous births, and everything in between, always as a unified team.

We’ve found that when we face life’s surprises together, we can turn challenges into triumphs. Whether it’s a spontaneous career move or a sudden illness, we navigate each new circumstance hand in hand, finding strength in our partnership.

Through it all, we’ve learned that it’s not just about surviving the tough times but also about finding joy in the unpredictable journey of life. Together, we are stronger; every surprise has become a testament to our shared resilience.

Supporting Each Other’s Evolution

As life goes on, we all change and grow, and it’s vital in marriage to support each other’s evolution. My husband has been my rock as I transitioned from being a stay-at-home mom to a work-from-home mom. And I’ve been his cheerleader through career shifts and personal aspirations.

Supporting one another means celebrating each success and providing comfort through every setback. It’s about being each other’s biggest fans and understanding that personal achievements contribute to our shared happiness.

We’ve learned that encouraging each other to pursue our passions and interests brings new energy and experiences into our relationship, keeping it vibrant and fulfilling.

Establishing Realistic Expectations for Love and Life

When my husband and I exchanged vows, we promised to love each other through life’s ups and downs. Setting realistic expectations for our marriage has been vital to living out that promise. 

Understanding that life isn’t a fairy tale and that love requires effort, patience, and forgiveness has allowed us to build a relationship that can withstand the test of time. It’s about finding balance and joy in the perfectly imperfect reality we share.

By accepting that challenges are part of the journey, we’ve learned to approach them as opportunities for growth, forging an even deeper connection and appreciation for the love we have cultivated together.

Transforming Conflicts into Opportunities

Conflicts are inevitable in any marriage, but I’ve learned that you can transform them into opportunities for growth and understanding. It’s about approaching disagreements not as battles you must win but as puzzles to solve together. With the help of the 3 Day Thriving Relationship Workshop, my husband and I have learned to argue constructively, focusing on finding solutions rather than winning the fight. With each conflict, my husband and I learned more about each other, deepened our empathy, and reinforced our commitment to finding solutions that work for us.

Learning to Fight Fairly and Constructively

Fighting fairly and constructively is an art my husband and I have honed over the years. We’ve learned to express our feelings without blame, to listen actively, and to seek compromise, most times anyway. It’s not about suppressing emotions but channeling them into conversations that build rather than break. When we fight fairly, we resolve conflicts and fortify our relationship with honesty and care.

Moreover, constructive arguments have taught us about each other’s boundaries and values. They’re a chance to clarify misunderstandings and set the stage for better communication in the future. By fighting to understand and grow, we turn conflicts into stepping stones that lead us to a more harmonious and loving marriage. It’s about coming out on the other side closer and more united than before.

The Significance of Forgiveness in Healing and Harmony

While we can’t forget the importance of apologies, forgiveness is also a powerful tool in healing and maintaining harmony in our marriage. We’ve all made mistakes, but learning to forgive each other has allowed us to move past grievances and focus on building a loving future together.

Forgiving is not forgetting; it’s about choosing to heal and grow from our experiences and continuing to commit to each other and our love.

Communication Beyond Words

Communication in marriage isn’t just about the words we say; it’s about the messages we send without speaking. I’ve discovered that a tender look or a gentle touch can convey volumes about my feelings and intentions. These nonverbal signals are the secret language of love that my husband and I share, and they’re often louder than any words could be. They’re the whispers of the heart and essential to our connection.

Mastering the Art of Nonverbal Connection

My husband and I have become adept at reading each other’s nonverbal cues. A furrowed brow or a beaming smile can speak directly to the heart, bypassing the need for words. This silent dialogue keeps us connected, even in the hustle of everyday life. It’s like our private Morse code, signaling love, concern, or the need for a hug after a long day. Mastering this art has been a cornerstone in our marriage, strengthening our bond beyond the spoken word.

But it’s not just about recognizing these signals; it’s about responding to them with sensitivity and love. When my husband reaches for my hand, it’s an invitation to connect; my squeeze back is my reply. These small, silent exchanges are the threads that weave the fabric of our marriage, making it warm and strong. They remind us that we’re never alone even in silence—we have each other.

The Importance of Open and Honest Dialogue

Openness and honesty are the cornerstones of effective communication. I make it a point to express my feelings and thoughts candidly and encourage my husband to do the same. This transparency has fostered trust and intimacy, allowing us to tackle life’s challenges with unity.

By prioritizing honest dialogue, we’ve avoided misunderstandings and built a foundation of trust that supports our relationship through all of life’s changes.

Fostering Intimacy and Companionship

Knowing you’re not just lovers but also best friends, there’s a unique comfort. When my husband and I share laughs, secrets, and dreams, our bond deepens, and that’s because friendship is woven into our love story. It’s like a safety net for the ups and downs, and it gives happily married couples an edge—they can always rely on each other, no matter what.

Marrying Your Best Friend: The Value of Friendship in Marriage

Picture this: You’re with someone who gets you, laughs with you, and supports you. That’s what marrying your best friend feels like. 

I found that shared jokes and knowing glances can turn an ordinary moment into something special. Friendship in marriage means you have someone in it for the long haul. This person knows you better than anyone else, accepts and loves you for things others might consider to be flaws, and is there through thick and thin. When married couples are also best friends, they tend to navigate life’s challenges more easily and joyfully.

My husband and I have tackled many challenges, and being best friends means we approach each problem with understanding and trust. 

It’s not just about love; it’s about having a partner who’s your confidant, support system, and biggest cheerleader. Happily married couples often say their spouse is their best friend, and I get it. It’s a beautiful blend of love and companionship that strengthens the marriage.

Intimacy Beyond the Physical: Building a Deep Emotional Bond

Physical intimacy plays a role in building a deep emotional bond, and there’s help for that, thanks to the Thriving Sex Online Course. It isn’t just about the physical connection. It’s about opening your heart and sharing your deepest thoughts and feelings. 

In my marriage, we’ve focused on building that deep emotional bond by listening to each other and being vulnerable. This kind of intimacy is about being seen and known at your core. It’s powerful and forms a connection that goes beyond the surface.

Creating rituals like a daily check-in, where we take turns sharing our highs and lows, has fostered our emotional intimacy. We make the time to connect deeply beyond the day-to-day tasks. This emotional closeness is what helps us feel loved and valued in our relationship, and it’s something that we continually nurture.

The Power of Kindness in Sustaining Love

Never underestimate the power of a kind word or a small act of love. In my marriage, I’ve seen how kindness can turn a rough day into a good one. The gentle words of encouragement or a simple “I love you” can mean the world. Kindness is the glue that holds our relationship together, especially when times are tough.

Being kind to each other doesn’t mean grand gestures; often, the little things count. A surprise cup of coffee, an unexpected compliment, or just asking, “how can I help make your day better?” with genuine interest makes all the difference. These acts of kindness remind us why we fell in love in the first place and help sustain that love over the years.

Practical Considerations for a Happy Marriage

While love is the heart of a marriage, practicality is its backbone. A happy marriage thrives on emotional connection and sensible, daily actions that show care and consideration.

The Little Things That Lead to Great Happiness

I remember reading that the little things lead to great happiness, and I couldn’t agree more. Growing up, my family made it a point to say “I love you” daily and aside from the really big arguments, my parents said it to each other often. This has shown me that it’s not always about the big gestures but rather the small, daily affirmations of love that keep a marriage healthy and happy. It can be as simple as putting down the toilet seat or planning date nights—these seemingly mundane acts create lasting joy.

When life becomes predictable, grocery shopping with your partner or finding the best of the mundane can profoundly change your attitude towards marriage. It’s about cherishing the simple moments and turning routine into something special. Whether laughing together in the kitchen or holding hands on a walk, these threads weave a strong, loving partnership.

Creating Relationship Rules That Work for Both Partners

Every couple is unique, and so are their relationship rules. My husband and I realized early on that for our marriage to work; we needed to create guidelines that reflected our values and needs. It’s not about one-size-fits-all but what works for you as a couple. We look at our marriage as if it had its genes—distinct traits that make it uniquely ours.

These rules include how we handle finances, divide chores, or even communicate during disagreements. The key is establishing these rules together, ensuring both partners feel heard and respected. This creates a sense of fairness and balance, which are crucial for a harmonious relationship.

The Art of Giving Space and Nurturing Individuality

As much as togetherness is vital in a marriage, so is giving each other space. Nurturing our individuality has allowed my husband and I to grow as people and partners. It’s about understanding that we each have separate interests and passions that enrich our lives and, by extension, our marriage.

Encouraging each other to pursue personal goals and hobbies brings a healthy balance to our relationship. It’s not about being apart but about allowing each other the freedom to be ourselves within the marriage. This space helps prevent feelings of suffocation and keeps the relationship fresh and exciting.

Navigating Challenges as a Unified Team

Life will throw curveballs, but facing them as a unified team has always made us stronger. It’s about partnership in its truest sense.

The Role of Teamwork and Shared Goals in Marital Success

Teamwork in marriage means pulling together, not apart, during difficult times. My husband and I have set shared goals that keep us focused on what we want to achieve as a couple. Whether saving for a home, planning a family vacation, or working on personal development, these goals give us a united direction and a sense of accomplishment when we reach them.

It’s the shared victories, as well as the shared challenges, that bond us. When we work together toward a common purpose, we feel a deeper connection and a sense of pride in our partnership. This teamwork is vital to marital success because it fosters unity and mutual support.

Keeping Perspective: Choosing Your Battles Wisely

Over the years, I’ve learned that not every disagreement needs to turn into a full-blown battle. It’s like when my kids argue over toys; sometimes, it’s just not worth the headache to intervene. In marriage, this means knowing when to stand firm and when to let things slide. 

I’ve found that asking myself if an issue will matter in a year helps me decide whether to speak up or step back. It’s about maintaining a healthy perspective and focusing on what strengthens our bond.

Choosing my battles wisely also involves understanding my husband’s point of view. Sometimes, I realize that what I’m upset about isn’t the amount of dishes but maybe feeling unappreciated. When I recognize this, I address the real issue rather than nitpicking over chores. This approach has prevented unnecessary arguments and kept the peace, allowing us to tackle life’s challenges together.

Conclusion

After years of being happily married, I’ve seen firsthand that marriage is a journey of love and learning. My best advice is to cherish the laughter, nurture intimacy, maintain individuality, and practice kindness daily. These threads work together in a strong, loving, and lasting partnership.

Through it all, the shared journey makes marriage so special. It’s the commitment to grow together, to face challenges as a team, and to keep the spark alive that truly defines marital bliss. As we continue to navigate this adventure, my husband and I remain grateful for each lesson and every moment of joy in our marriage.

The essence of marital bliss often lies in the small gestures that show love and appreciation for your best friend. It’s about striving to become the best version of yourself and enjoying the simple pleasures, like spending a few minutes together in the shower every night. Over the years, I’ve learned that when you treat every day as an opportunity to make your spouse smile, even if it’s just by tackling those dirty dishes in the sink together, you weave threads of joy into the fabric of your marriage.

Embrace each moment, whether sharing laughter, a silent hug, or supporting one another through challenges. The key to a harmonious marriage is building a foundation of respect, communication, and unconditional love. It’s about ensuring that even when life becomes predictable, you never stop discovering new reasons to cherish your time together. 

So, take it from me, someone who’s been married almost 15 years and is still deeply in love—marriage is not just about finding the right partner but about being the right partner.