How Low Self Esteem Affects Relationships

Spread the love

How does low self esteem affect relationships? Low self-esteem can affect your life in so many ways. Not only can it severely undermine your quality of living, but it can wreak havoc on your relationships with other people. Discover how low self esteem affects relationships and hurts marriages.

Ever get that sinking feeling, like your marriage is slowly turning in the wrong direction? Maybe it’s a nagging suspicion that you’re not pulling your weight, or a constant need for reassurance from your partner. If self-esteem has taken a dive in your personal pool, chances are it’s causing ripples in your relationship too.

Don’t panic, lovebirds! This isn’t a one-way ticket to divorce island. We’ve all been there, wading through the murky waters of insecurity and doubt. But guess what? This article is your life raft, packed with insights and tips to navigate those choppy seas and steer your marriage back to smooth sailing.

Think of it as a friendly chat with someone who’s been there, worn the T-shirt (it reads “Self-Esteem Issues: Ask Me Anything”), and come out the other side with a stronger marriage and a boatload of self-compassion. We’ll dive into how low self-esteem can rock the relationship boat, from jealousy storms to communication breakdowns, and offer practical ways to weather them together.

So, buckle up, grab your partner (and maybe a life vest for your ego), and get ready to learn how to mend those emotional leaks and rebuild your marriage on a foundation of self-love and understanding. It’s time to ditch the insecurities and set sail for a happier, healthier relationship – because let’s face it, nobody enjoys a soggy honeymoon phase.

This post contains affiliate links which may earn me commissions should you click through them and take certain actions. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

How Does Low Self Esteem Affect Relationships?

Back in 2019, it was estimated that low self-esteem affected about 85% of the world’s population. Given the rise of social media and unrealistic expectations of what our bodies look like, how we should think or feel, and our lifestyles tend to be under much more scrutiny, it’s possible that this number has increased.

This would indicate that many of us need to read this!

Romantic Relationships and Low Self Esteem

Your romantic relationships are severely affected by low self-esteem. Not only do you risk the strength of your relationship with all of the negativity you feel, but this outlook can affect so many facets of a relationship. For example, people with low self-esteem are more likely to find themselves in relationships that are controlling, unhappy, and either physically or emotionally abusive.

Relationships with Friends

When your self-esteem is low, it can be hard to both make and keep friends. People with low self-esteem often have a hard time meeting quality friends that bring out the good in them and boost their morale, which is what they sorely need. Low self-esteem can also cause negative effects on existing relationships. The negativity and self-loathing can weigh on a friendship, and cause people to drift apart.

Family Relationships

Even the people that you have known your entire life can be affected by your low self-esteem. They might feel powerless to do or say anything that might help you, or they might find themselves in a situation where they do not feel comfortable.

Your Relationship with Yourself

Most importantly, a low self-esteem can affect your relationship with the one person who will always be there for you no matter what – you. Your relationship with yourself is probably the most important relationship that feeds the negative outcome of a low self-esteem.

Out in the Real World

There are many ways in which a low self-esteem can affect your relationships outside of the people close to you as well. The people that you work with or just meet in passing are all affected by your overall presence and personality.

People Take Advantage

Although it is hard to admit it, there are some people in the world that take advantage of people who don’t feel worthy or self-confident. Unfortunately, people who have a low self-worth are the ones that most often find themselves victims of scams, bad relationships, and other such situations.

Pulling Them Down

Whether you realize it or not, a negative sense of self-worth can reflect on your overall persona. No matter how hard you work to put on a strong and happy face, the pain and negativity you feel is often palpable to the people around you. Whether they realize what is causing it or not, just your mood can pull a room of people down.

Relationships and Low Self Esteem - effects of self doubt on marriage

Low Self Esteem Will Destroy a Relationship

Marriage is a beautiful tapestry woven with trust, love, and, hopefully, a healthy dose of self-belief. But what happens when one thread in that tapestry starts to fray? What happens when low self-esteem creeps in and starts sanding away at the foundation of your relationship?

Let’s be honest, no one wakes up and thinks, “Today, I’m going to sabotage my marriage with my self-doubt!” But low self-esteem will destroy a relationship like a sneaky little gremlin, subtly whispering insecurities and anxieties that can chip away at even the strongest bond.

Here’s how it can play out:

  • The Jealousy Monster: Your partner gets a compliment at work? Suddenly, you’re drowning in a sea of “Why them and not me?” This constant green-eyed monster can poison even the most innocent interactions.
  • The Mind-Reading Master: Did your partner take a beat too long to respond to your text? Your brain instantly conjures up a telenovela-worthy drama, convinced they’re secretly plotting your demise (or, at the very least, planning to leave dirty socks on the floor again).
  • The Shrinking Violet: Speaking up for yourself feels like scaling Mount Everest in your pajamas. You downplay your needs and desires, letting your partner’s happiness become your sole focus. But guess what? A one-sided seesaw gets pretty wobbly after a while.
  • The Blame Game: Mistakes happen, but when your self-esteem is low, every misstep feels like a personal attack. Suddenly, you’re pointing fingers and building walls instead of working together as a team.
  • The Intimacy Iceberg: Physical touch can be a powerful language of love, but when you’re constantly questioning your own worth, it’s easy to retreat into an emotional igloo. This lack of intimacy can leave both partners feeling cold and disconnected.

Improve Your Relationships and Low Self Esteem

Just like that sneaky gremlin, low self-esteem can be outsmarted! You can learn to love yourself for the wonderful person that you are. There is a light at the tunnel. With a little introspection and some work, you can find the confidence, self-worth, and respect that you truly deserve.


  • You are worthy of love and happiness, just as you are.
  • Communication is key! Talk openly and honestly with your partner about your struggles.
  • Seek professional help if needed. A therapist can be a valuable guide on your journey to higher self-esteem.
  • Prioritize self-care. Do things that make you feel good, whether it’s reading a book, taking a bubble bath, or spending time with loved ones.

While counseling for improving self-esteem is a great recommendation, time, money, or reluctance to seek help might keep you or your loved one from getting help. If this is the case, start with something like this self-esteem workbook, which isn’t as costly and less intimidating that meeting with a stranger to discuss personal issues.

From your relationship with yourself, to every single person around you, a low self-esteem can truly affect your relationships. From the way you carry yourself, to what you let people get away with, your relationships and your quality of living can all be negatively affected by a low self-esteem. Luckily, you don’t have to let this happen. You can overcome your low self-esteem and build lasting healthy relationships.

How does low self esteem affect relationships? Discover the impact of low self esteem and it's role in destroying marriages.


I'm a work-from-home (previously stay-at-home) mom of two beautiful children and married since 2009. Because I prioritize my relationship with my husband, I've seen tremendous benefits in marriage and want to help couples achieve happiness in their relationships. When I'm not busy with work and family, you might find me blogging, out at a race track, or on a Rally course.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *