Creative Ways to Express Gratitude in Marriage

Marriage is built on love, but it thrives on appreciation. When life gets busy, it’s easy to overlook the little things our spouse does or take their presence for granted.

I learned this the hard way. When perimenopause hit, I pulled away emotionally, physically, and mentally. My husband still wanted to spend time with me, to connect, but I was drowning in my own struggles and didn’t realize how much it was affecting him—until he said he wanted a divorce. That was my wake-up call.

I needed to appreciate him again. Not just with words but with actions that showed I still valued him, even when life wasn’t easy.

Gratitude in marriage isn’t just about noticing the good—it’s about showing appreciation in ways that make your spouse feel loved. And sometimes, the most impactful ways are the most unexpected.

How to Show Gratitude in Unique Ways

Thoughtful & Personalized Gestures

Gratitude is most meaningful when it’s personal. Small, intentional acts can be a powerful reminder that you see and value your spouse.

Handwritten Notes with a Twist

A simple “I appreciate you” is nice, but a note that highlights something specific is even better. Leaving a short message in unexpected places—inside a wallet, on the bathroom mirror, or tucked into a coat pocket—can turn an ordinary moment into a reminder that they are loved.

One morning, I left a sticky note on my husband’s keyboard that said, “I appreciate how hard you work for our family, and I love you.” Later, he texted me, “I love you!” It was such a small thing, but it helped rebuild a connection that had felt frayed.

Create a Gratitude Jar

A jar filled with short notes of appreciation—things you love about them, memories you cherish, or inside jokes—can be a powerful way to express gratitude.

Give a ‘Just Because’ Gift

It doesn’t have to be expensive—just something that shows you know them well. A book they’ve been meaning to read, their favorite snack from childhood, or a playlist of songs that remind you of them. My husband isn’t usually a fan of sappy gifts, but he really got a kick out of a pair of “trophy husband” socks I bought for him

Surprise Acts of Love & Appreciation

Breaking the routine with thoughtful surprises can reignite appreciation in your marriage.

Plan a Gratitude-Themed Date Night

Instead of just going to dinner, make the night about appreciation. Revisit places that hold special memories and talk about why those moments meant so much.

Secret Acts of Service

Picking up a task your spouse dreads—without them asking—can speak volumes. It might be filling their gas tank, fixing something they keep putting off, or cleaning up a space that stresses them out.

One of my least favorite chores is cooking (quite the conundrum when raising a family). I can tell you that when my husband decides he’ll cook for us, it’s one of the best surprises he could give me.

Playful Expressions of Gratitude

Gratitude doesn’t always have to be serious—it can be fun and lighthearted too.

The ‘Gratitude I Spy’ Game

At dinner or before bed, take turns saying one thing you’re grateful for about each other from that day. It helps keep appreciation alive even during stressful times.

Reverse Love Notes Challenge

Instead of just writing love notes, make it a game to hide them in unexpected places—inside shoes, under pillows, or even in the fridge.

Make It Public (Without Being Over-the-Top)

A small, unexpected text message or a casual social media shoutout can make your spouse’s day. One time, I posted a thank-you on Facebook about my husband fixing something around the house. He acted like it was no big deal, but later admitted it made him feel appreciated. Sometimes, a little public recognition can go a long way.

Experience-Based Gratitude

Sometimes, gratitude is best expressed through shared experiences rather than just words.

The ‘Gratitude Touch’

Instead of just saying thank you, express appreciation through small physical gestures. A longer-than-usual hug when they walk in the door, a hand squeeze during a tough conversation, or a quiet back rub can all convey gratitude without words.

Sometime when I’m feeling particularly needy or aloof, I reach out just to rub his arm to let him know I’m I still love him. We don’t need to talk – just a quiet squeeze to remind him I still think about him means a lot.

Cook a ‘Thank You’ Meal

Making your spouse’s favorite meal—just because—can be a powerful way to show appreciation.

Reflecting on Gratitude in Marriage

Looking back on what you’ve overcome together can deepen appreciation.

Hard Times Reflection Exercise

On anniversaries or after an argument, take a moment to reflect on a past hardship you survived together. When my husband mentioned divorce, I started looking back at all the difficult times we had already made it through. It reminded me that we had faced storms before—and we had come out stronger.

Write a Future Gratitude Letter

Writing a letter to your future selves about what you love and appreciate in each other now can be a powerful exercise. I once wrote a letter listing all the reasons I loved my husband, even during a rough patch. When I reread it later, it helped me see him with fresh eyes and remember why I chose him in the first place.

Gratitude isn’t just about grand romantic gestures—it’s in the small, everyday actions that remind your spouse, “I see you. I appreciate you. I love you.”

One small act of appreciation a day can strengthen your marriage in ways you never imagined.

Want to make gratitude a habit in your marriage? Join my free 7-Day Marriage Gratitude Challenge!